Procrastination Station

• well I now have a job sorted and a start date, i'm working at Tesco Manchester Metro on the Checkouts, starting on Friday 30th September at 20.30 (look at the 24hr clock thing I have going on) finishing at 00.00 (yes - really), I know what you're thinking, that has to be one of the WORST shifts ever, well you're right it is and NO, I didn't pick it, it was all I was offered. I am also working another rubbish shift - Saturdays 13.30 - 22.00. Perhaps I can still go out after - I don't know. I am not looking forward to it. At least I am waiting till after Fresher's Week to start. So now you all know when I'm starting, feel free to come and say hi - offer some moral support, and collect clubcard points at the same time - so it's win win really. So this will be my 4th Tesco and I am actually starting to feel like the supermarket version of The Littlest Hobo - but a little less hairy and better personal hygiene. So I come in and work hard, help them out with ridiculously shit and inconvenient shifts (see above), no ordinary self respecting person would do and then I move on, but hey - at least I don't build up any emotional ties, which is always the best way. I also get share options and discounts on computers, as well as 10% off - oh and not forgetting the all important "Clubcard points".

• Almost ODed on Popcorn at the AMC on errr...Wednesday was it? Well since i only eat Salted popcorn it would be better to describe it as a salt overdose - the popcorn itself won't increase my blood pressure so much and increase risk of a stroke. Actually come to think of it, if I had had sweet that would have only led to early onset diabetes or just slipped into a diabetic coma there and then - not to mention if I'd gone for a free refill large cup of overly sugared soft drink. So why did I eat all this popcorn I hear you ask? Well I'm a sucker for the AMC free refills on large popcorn £3 and a free refill - pretty good. I think they realise though that realistically a sensible person wouldn't bother with a second popcorn bag but I now see it as a personal challenge and mission to get that extra bag even if I have to tip the remainder of the first bag down the toilet to get the second. I havea problem don't I?! What ordinary person would do that?! I just to get that extra popcorn which I usually eat soft and stale the next day or in this case drunk in the middle of the night/early hours of morning following heavy/medium levels of drinking. I always like to think I am screwing them over but I guess the popcorn is so cheap to make they are really screwing me. Upon leaving the cinema with my fresh new bag of popcorn I was horrified to find it was raining so I had to throw some of the popcorn away there and then to fold over hte sides so it didn't get wet...so from a walkway over a road I dropped popcorn not realising quite how irate it made motorists as one shouted at me: "Stop throwing popcorn onto the roads - you fucking dicks!" Well it was actually just the one "fucking dick" but let's not split hairs. Following this I had the brainwave I could put the popcorn in my jacket and zip it up to keep it dry so that's what I did...so we walked home with myself and also becky looking heavily pregnant - who was more shocking to look at I don't know? I also had to put up with suspicious looks in Sainsburys as the security guard clearly thought I was using my jacket to smuggle out 2 iceberg lettuces. Fortunately though I made it...

• Slug Update: They appear to have resigned themselves to a life outside the house, within the walls and/or under the floor. Or have they? I don't trust them - I hate it when people try to lull you into a false sense of security.

• I also found some more things that annoy me - well they always annoyed me, don't get me wrong I don't get up everyday and think what can I find to annoy me? It's just somethings reminded me this week they annoy me and that's people who wear hats and/or scraves indoors - do they not realise they will catch a chill when they go outside?! Well I just think it is pretentious, I have to say though with girls I feel it more acceptable, well hats, perhaps not scarves. That must be some sort of ingrained social acceptabilty for females - or maybe I'm a hypocrite. The only people who are allowed to wear hats indoors though are Telopaths, for 2 reasons really, firstly they need to keep their special brains warm so they can use their powers and secondly because they can tell i'm annoyed and take it off when they see me. Unless they are telopathic dicks which you get sometimes who can tell you are annoyed but do it to spite you anyway. Actually I think I can understand if you are wearing a scarf to cover a hickey that seems reasonable to me, so from now on so I don't get so annoyed I am going to assume all people wearing scarves indoors have hickeys.

• I also experienced one of the worst situations you can be put in this week, "Being left alone in the pub." This happened when Rosie and Wendy left to get some friends over and I was left alone guarding a really big table - i mean much too big for one person, especially when I found myself getting smaller and smaller as more and more people looked at me all alone on this big table - which they could be sat at. It's also annoying when you have to defend chairs all alone and I just feel so rude saying no but at the same time I can't let my friends down so I just sort of mumble a negative response which usually puts them off, a response which could by some people be interpreted as a yes so if they do take I just think, fair enough. 

OK well this is enough for now, much much much more to come but in time I need food before we go out this evening to perhaps the Footage for cheap drinks and cheese music. Till next time...